I turned my eyes away from my four year old daughter sitting in her hospital bed to my 71 year old mum sitting in the chair. Mum was clutching her arm saying it hurt and her breath was short. She was holding her chest. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Thanks to a calm but quick acting volunteer Jimmy, she was whisked out of Ruby’s room and immediately was lying in her own hospital bed with more than 10 nurses and doctors attending to her. It was a massive emergency. 

I went to hold mums hand who kept complaining of pain. I was seriously in a movie. A really bad movie.

My Mum was having a heart attack.

I stood in between the room Ruby was in and mums bed that was crowded with people doing their job. I stood not knowing which way to turn and thinking I don’t even know what song mum wants at her funeral. 

My daughter has recently been diagnosed with leukaemia. And the day had come that she spiked a fever of 38. This meant we had to come into hospital

My husband was on the soccer run with our other three boys.  And mum was free and happy to help. So off we toddled in her black golf.

And now I sit in a waiting room without my mum and without my daughter. Waiting for test results. Waiting for news.

Wondering what on earth I have done to deserve this? I love my mum. She is my best friend. I am not ready to lose her. Please stay strong mum. For me. For Ruby.

Ruby knowingly said I could go be by my mums  side. She is with daddy waiting to find out where she is sleeping tonight. They are watching Peter Rabbit.  I am waiting to hear mums prognosis. Please be good. I love you mum.

** Hours later I found out that mum has Takosubo cardiomyopathy or Broken Heart Syndrome.  It mimics a heart attack but it is not one.  Still taken seriously and warrants a number of days in hospital but completely curable.  The doctors said Ruby’s illness is most probably the catalyst.  Breaks my heart that my mum’s heart is broken over Ruby. My heart is too. No doubt mums heart is broken to see my heart broken.  Too many broken hearts. I love you mum, and will do everything to mend your heart.

**Photos of my mum and Ruby making their secret garden over Easter weekend before this event happened. Such fun. Such love. I love you both so very much. X


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