And I thought I could go back to work …..

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“I’m going back to work next week” I told the nurses and doctors proudly. 

I emailed my boss. Even chatted to him on the phone. Said it was all going great and I could come back part time. Three days a week. Monday Wednesday Friday. 

It was Monday when we spoke and we agreed I would be at my desk the following Monday. It was one month since the diagnosis. I was ready to get back into my old life. 

That never happened. 

The nurses and doctors when I told them my work plans looked at me quizzically but didn’t say a word. I look back now and I thank them for not bursting my bubble. Some things you have to work out on your own. 

I was like a new mum who had all these grand plans. Until the realisation sets in that it takes longer to do things, plans get delayed or never happen. 

I am not a new mum but I am new to a devastating illness. My four year old daughter has been diagnosed with leukaemia. Absolutely shocking news that changes your life. I was in denial. 

I just thought I could juggle even more! What I didn’t realise was the unpredictability of Ruby’s illness. The medications. The side effects. The hospital vists. And the exhaustion.  

I have to be there for Ruby. That’s means this year my job is not in PR with a salary that I so enjoyed.  It’s actually harder than that. I have the biggest job of my life. Getting Ruby well. And making sure I stay mentally and physically fit for the challenge. 

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