Approaching day 60 of my daughter Ruby’s leukaemia treatment and I am exhausted. She is too.
There are definitely highs when you believe this is all going great but it’s the lows that bring you to reality.
The lows push you into the depths of despair. That’s when the tears start and don’t stop.
There are so many days I feel broken. Most days I am numb. Staying numb I have found is the only way to keep moving forward.
Ruby’s treatment is so very intense and she is being pumped with all sorts of drugs. From chemotherapy drugs to fight the cancer, antibiotics to fight the fevers and drugs to fight the mouth ulcers and settle the nausea.
There is no way to sugar coat it. It’s crap.
But there is no giving up. People around me say “I don’t know how you are doing it”. The answer is simple you don’t have a choice.
Stay numb and carry on. That’s the new “keep calm and carry on” for me as a leukaemia mum.