The day finally arrived when the long awaited soccer holiday to Europe arrived.

In the lead up I’ve had mixed emotions of excitement for the peace, sadness for being left behind, anxiety about what if something happens to them and worry for Ruby being the only sibling left behind with me. Will she feel so very sad? Will I be able to console her in the silence?

I have to say first night done and I feel sad and a bit lost and definitely anxious. A bomb just went off in Londons tube – the boys are landing in London in about 6 hours. My mind always races.

Also with Ruby’s leukaemia I want her to be well. An emergency trip to hospital is not what I want. I know I can do it solo but it’s so much better as a team with Ed by my side. My mind continues to race!

I woke at 330am which was when they were in Bangkok and phones on. It was meant. I told them I love them. And then they boarded. Can’t wait for our next call.

Now is the official Day one and I woke early. I’m cuddling the cats. Ruby still sleeps. It’s going to definitely be strange.

I hope the excitement kicks in soon. Otherwise it’s going to be a long three weeks!

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